Another music video I helped animate! Featuring Kanye West?! I still can't believe it. I did the cleanup for the first shot of the artist's morphing. It was a lot of fun!
Aside from that, I feel like I need to vent.
I haven't liked where I've been for a while now. Lots of scary things going on in the US right now, and lots of other things under my hood that just make the situation worse. Last year my best friend passed away in March, and ever since then I have just felt myself mentally degrading. I'm getting help now, seeing a wonderful therapist, trying to take care of myself first and putting everything else in the back burner. Trouble with it is that of course after one of the most traumatic events in my life happens, I start getting work for music videos. I've gotten to work on some pretty cool projects, but that usually comes with a extremely tight deadline and no sleep during. It was both a blessing and a curse.
I have been pushing myself so hard all for the sake of making deadlines, (some of which you don't even want to know) navigating the world of self employment (Taxes fucking suck and are way more complicated than they need to be) and dealing with complicated feelings like "You shouldn't be happy today, your best friend is dead, remember?" or "You had a shit dad and will probably turn out like him unless you work as hard as you can and push yourself to your limits".
I have always been someone who puts other before himself and I'm realizing now that I am not taking care of me and that's something I need to change.
So I'm taking a break.
I'm not quitting animation, in fact I'm gonna make stuff for here and YouTube, stuff that I enjoy making that isn't going to force me to lose sleep. I'm just going to post as I create. There are so many talented artists out there and I feel like forcing myself to compete is unnecessary. You don't need 1 video a month from me, I need to make stuff that I'm proud of and isn't rushed out the door.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I guess it's good to get off my chest and maybe someone else out there needed to hear this. I don't know, I'm just done being miserable, cause a sad Joey is not as fun as a happy Joey.
Stay safe out there everyone, be kind to one another and remember to hug your friends and family. Love you all <3
GoodL
"I'm not quitting animation, in fact I'm gonna make stuff for here and YouTube, stuff that I enjoy making that isn't going to force me to lose sleep. I'm just going to post as I create."
That's what I'm talking about. You need to make content for you. Rushing to meet deadlines and doing it all for the paycheck is a sure-fire way to end up posting content that you know isn't your best work.
I relate to this post a lot, and I'm truly wishing you all the best.